I think Advent is my newfound favorite time of year in the Church. Lent and Easter are powerful and very very important, but the peace and joy of waiting for the baby Jesus pulls at my heart in a special way.
This year was the first time that I really got the meaning of Advent, thanks to God's grace and my amazing theology classes. It's not just lighting candles on a wreath for a month before Christmas. It's a mindset that we should get into in order to joyfully wait in expectation for the birth of Christ. It's climbing into the shoes of Joseph and Mary and prayerfully experiencing what they experienced.
Mary and Joseph must have felt such a range of emotions during her pregnancy. First, awe. Of God and His plan, of being chosen to be such a huge part of that plan. I'm sure there was awe in their eyes too as they looked down on their newborn son in the manger. Then most likely fear, of wondering if they were really following God's plan and if they would be ok. Fear of physical harm to them and their unborn child. Fear of what the future would hold, of where their son would take them and of what he would be like. I'm sure they also experienced the sting of shame, for they were a bethrothed couple already pregnant. Villagers must have judged them and looked down upon them. This must have been especially painful for Mary, who was spotless and without sin, to be judged as unclean. But they probably clung onto hope and trust- that they were truly waiting for the birth of the Messiah who would save their people. They went through sacrifice on their long journey to Bethlehem, both physical and emotional. Then, finally, I'm sure they had peace. Everything lay quiet that first night in the manger, with the light of the star gleaming down on them and radiating from their son's face, with the angels singing peaceful songs of joy, and with Mary and Joseph looking down on their beautiful sleeping child with love.
Advent is a time for us to focus on some of these emotions. Trust- that we trust the plan God has for us even if we do not know what the future holds or if it does not make sense. Hope- that Christ will come as a bright star in the darkness of our own lives and humanity as a whole to lead us to salvation. Awe- at the sheer ridiculousness of the Incarnation, and how amazing and good our God is to actually become one of us in all things but sin. Peace comes from this silent adoration.
Oftentimes during this Advent, I imagined myself as Mary when she was pregnant. She knew the Savior was inside her, that she was giving life to his humanity. She must have experienced such a bond with Him, such a deep unity. I imagined her silent adoration of her son in her womb, and the peace and joy that comes from that. I then started to feel this same peace and joy, knowing that Jesus is within me too. Instead of in my womb, He's in my heart. I can sit and silently ponder Him just like Mary. Especially in the Eucharist, when He is actually physically present within me. What a gift.
I think that it's no wonder that Jesus came to us as a baby first. He could have just popped up on earth one day as a full grown man if He wanted to. But think about it- babies give unconditional love. They evoke such peace and joy in the hearts of everyone who sees them. Jesus is Love. So it would only make sense that He would become Love incarnate in a baby to show us His love for us.
My favorite moment on Christmas Eve is at night when I'm falling asleep. In my house we put electric candles in the windows during Advent, and from Christmas Eve all through Christmas Day we keep them on. This means that I get to fall asleep in my room on Christmas Eve without having to turn them off. They create such a warm glow in the room, standing out starkly against the black night behind them. As I'm falling asleep I'm filled with a sense of hope and peace. They remind me of Jesus, who came as a light to the world in the midst of its darkness.
It's so sad how everyone is so busy during the month leading up to Christmas with shopping and other preparations that this gift of peace is left unnoticed. This opportunity to ponder Christ and wait for Him with joyful expectation is available to all. But Satan loves to distract anyone and everyone from peace and silence. I think that's why the holidays is such a stressful time for everyone- the true meaning has been lost. We've become so distracted with the things of the world that we forget about why we have this holiday in the first place.
So let's pray to Our Lady of Joyful Expectation and her husband Joseph, that we can all rediscover the peace and joy of Advent in our hearts.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Friday, December 10, 2010
Peter and the Storm
One of my favorite discussions in my theology of healing class was about Matthew 14 when Jesus walks on water:
"And in the fourth watch of the night he came to them, walking on the sea. But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, saying, 'It is a ghost!' And they cried out for fear. But immediately he spoke to them saying, 'Take heart, it is I; have no fear.' And Peter answered him, 'Lord, if it is you, bid me come to you on the water.' He said, 'Come.' So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus; but when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, 'Lord, save me.' Jesus immediately reached out his hand and caught him, saying to him, 'O you of little faith, why did you doubt?' And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. And those in the boat worshipped him, saying, 'Truly you are the Son of God.'" Matthew 14: 25-33
This passage is packed with sooo many things. Yes, Jesus walks on water. Which is pretty friggin cool. But there's so much more to it than that. It can totally relate to the way that Jesus brings about healing in our lives, with the example of Peter.
Let's start at the beginning. Jesus came to them at the fourth watch of the night, which to the average fisherman of the time is known as the darkest time of night. He also came during a storm. Do I need the explain the metaphor of that one? There was a lot of unrest, a lot of fear.
Then the men in the boat see Jesus walking towards them on the water. You think they would have cried out in joy and relief. But nope, they get scared and think he's a ghost. This translates into our own failure to recognize Jesus during the worst of our storms in life. We are so consumed by the darkness, suffering, and fear that we don't see Jesus in all the ways He may be trying to help us. And if we do finally recognize Him, we may be even more fearful, because sometimes the suffering and sinfulness is less scary than the fear of the unknown. We don't know where Jesus will lead us when He comes to us.
Jesus is trying to tell us through this passage that He is there for us even during the fourth watch of our storms. He is not some distant God watching everything from heaven- He came to earth so that He could get messy, to go down with us into the bottom of our pits and meet us there. He wants to go down to the source of your pain, your sinfulness, and your wounds. He wants to be with you there in order to bring about healing. But we must recognize Him there first and allow Him in. This is sometimes the most challenging part.
This is the process that Peter goes through. He wants to go meet the Lord and embrace Him, and begins to walk out on the water. Everything is going fine until the storm gets worse, and Peter begins to be afraid. At this point he starts to sink and calls out to the Lord for help. How many times do we go through this in our own lives, when we think we're trusting in God until our storms get worse instead of better. Then we begin to sink, to be afriad, and to doubt in God's power. We question if He is hearing our prayers. But Peter needed this to happen to him. He needed to become completely helpless in order to fully surrender to the Lord and trust in Him. Once he calls out for help, Jesus immediately reaches out to him. Their bond is stronger now. Peter just went through the first steps of the ultimate healing, which is the re-establishment of our souls in union with God. Peter recognized his littleness and God's greatness, and accepted Jesus as Christ the Savior.
Then Jesus and Peter get into the boat together. The winds cease and there is worship, peace, and joy within the boat. Who knows if the storm actually calmed, or if the people in the boat just didn't notice it as much anymore. They weren't as affected by it anymore. When we finally let Jesus into every part of our heart, we allow Him into our boat. We let Him see our wounds and touch them at the bottom of our pits. We may still suffer, we may still go through storms, but we're now in it together with Jesus. We're not trying to do it alone. The storms blowing around us won't disturb us as much, because we have Jesus in our boat.
So don't begrudge Jesus for the storms. Maybe they needed to happen in order to ultimately bring about greater healing in your life. To help you grow in trust, love, and surrender. Always look for Jesus in the storms, because it is there that He is most present. Pray to St. Peter for his intercession, that he will help you bring Jesus into your boat.
"And in the fourth watch of the night he came to them, walking on the sea. But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, saying, 'It is a ghost!' And they cried out for fear. But immediately he spoke to them saying, 'Take heart, it is I; have no fear.' And Peter answered him, 'Lord, if it is you, bid me come to you on the water.' He said, 'Come.' So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus; but when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, 'Lord, save me.' Jesus immediately reached out his hand and caught him, saying to him, 'O you of little faith, why did you doubt?' And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. And those in the boat worshipped him, saying, 'Truly you are the Son of God.'" Matthew 14: 25-33
This passage is packed with sooo many things. Yes, Jesus walks on water. Which is pretty friggin cool. But there's so much more to it than that. It can totally relate to the way that Jesus brings about healing in our lives, with the example of Peter.
Let's start at the beginning. Jesus came to them at the fourth watch of the night, which to the average fisherman of the time is known as the darkest time of night. He also came during a storm. Do I need the explain the metaphor of that one? There was a lot of unrest, a lot of fear.
Then the men in the boat see Jesus walking towards them on the water. You think they would have cried out in joy and relief. But nope, they get scared and think he's a ghost. This translates into our own failure to recognize Jesus during the worst of our storms in life. We are so consumed by the darkness, suffering, and fear that we don't see Jesus in all the ways He may be trying to help us. And if we do finally recognize Him, we may be even more fearful, because sometimes the suffering and sinfulness is less scary than the fear of the unknown. We don't know where Jesus will lead us when He comes to us.
Jesus is trying to tell us through this passage that He is there for us even during the fourth watch of our storms. He is not some distant God watching everything from heaven- He came to earth so that He could get messy, to go down with us into the bottom of our pits and meet us there. He wants to go down to the source of your pain, your sinfulness, and your wounds. He wants to be with you there in order to bring about healing. But we must recognize Him there first and allow Him in. This is sometimes the most challenging part.
This is the process that Peter goes through. He wants to go meet the Lord and embrace Him, and begins to walk out on the water. Everything is going fine until the storm gets worse, and Peter begins to be afraid. At this point he starts to sink and calls out to the Lord for help. How many times do we go through this in our own lives, when we think we're trusting in God until our storms get worse instead of better. Then we begin to sink, to be afriad, and to doubt in God's power. We question if He is hearing our prayers. But Peter needed this to happen to him. He needed to become completely helpless in order to fully surrender to the Lord and trust in Him. Once he calls out for help, Jesus immediately reaches out to him. Their bond is stronger now. Peter just went through the first steps of the ultimate healing, which is the re-establishment of our souls in union with God. Peter recognized his littleness and God's greatness, and accepted Jesus as Christ the Savior.
Then Jesus and Peter get into the boat together. The winds cease and there is worship, peace, and joy within the boat. Who knows if the storm actually calmed, or if the people in the boat just didn't notice it as much anymore. They weren't as affected by it anymore. When we finally let Jesus into every part of our heart, we allow Him into our boat. We let Him see our wounds and touch them at the bottom of our pits. We may still suffer, we may still go through storms, but we're now in it together with Jesus. We're not trying to do it alone. The storms blowing around us won't disturb us as much, because we have Jesus in our boat.
So don't begrudge Jesus for the storms. Maybe they needed to happen in order to ultimately bring about greater healing in your life. To help you grow in trust, love, and surrender. Always look for Jesus in the storms, because it is there that He is most present. Pray to St. Peter for his intercession, that he will help you bring Jesus into your boat.
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