This is a quote from Fr. Mike Scanlan's book Let the Fire Fall- it is amazing and you all should read it! Fr. Scanlan, TOR is the former president of Franciscan University and is seriously a living saint. I am so blessed to have the opportunity to see him around campus and occasionally have him celebrate a mass!
"The Lord spoke to me about a more fundamental problem. 'You are acting as if I am not with you,' He said. 'You are reaching, pleading, pushing to get to Me. You are serving on your own power. You are trying to do things for Me rather than in Me. The truth is that I am with you. I am your family. I am in you. Start living in the family.'
That moment was a breakthrough in my understanding of who God is and who I am in relation to Him. God is family. The Son is always giving glory to the Father. The Father is always saying He is pleased with the Son. The Holy Spirit is the bond of love between them. The three members of this family are always praying in me, just as they pray in you and in everyone who has been reborn in Jesus Christ. We are never alone. We never need to fear. We always have our family with us.
We don't reach out to God in prayer. Rather we enter into the prayer that is going on within us ceaselessly. We don't look outside ourselves for healing. We recieve the healing graces that flow from the Holy Trinity. We don't struggle to bring God's love to our families, friends, co-workers. Rather, we participate in what God is already doing to bring His grace to those around us. Best of all, the Father is a Father to us just as He was Father to Jesus, for that is exactly what it means to be sons and daughters of God."
take a moment to re-read this. to really ponder it, to let God speak to your heart. I hope it changes your outlook on your prayer life like it did for mine!
Monday, June 14, 2010
Saturday, June 12, 2010
The Little Flower
So, since I'm on a kick about nature and creation, I figured I would share this passage from St. Therese of Lisieux's "The Story of a Soul". I read it the other night and it is so perfect! It's in the beginning of the very first chapter if you want to look it up. I put in italics certain sentences that really stood out to me:
"For a long time I wondered why God showed partiality, why all souls don't recieve the same amount of graces. I was astounded to see Him lavish extraordinary favors on the Saints who had offended Him such as St. Paul and St. Augustine, and whom He so to speak forced to recieve His graces. Or when I read the life of Saints whom Our Lord was pleased to embrace from the cradle to the grave, without leaving in their path any obstacles that might hinder them from rising toward Him, and granting these souls such favors that they were unable to tarnish the immaculate brightness of their baptismal robes, I wondered why poor primitive people, for example, were dying in great number without even having heard the name of God pronounced..
Jesus consented to teach me this mystery. He placed before my eyes the book of nature; I understood that all the flowers that He created are beautiful. The brilliance of the rose and the whiteness of the lily don't take away the perfume of the lowly violet or the delightful simplicity of the daisy...I understood that if all the little flowers wanted to be roses, nature would lose its springtime adornment, and the fields would no longer be sprinkled with little flowers...
So it is in the world of souls, which is Jesus' garden. He wanted to create great Saints who could be compared to lilies and roses. But He also created little ones, and these ought to be content to be daisies or violets destined to gladden God's eyes when He glances down at His feet. Perfection consists in doing His will, in being what He wants us to be...
I understood that Our Lord's love is revealed as well in the simplest soul who doesn't resist His grace in anything, as in the most sublime of souls. In fact, since the essence of love is to bring oneself low, if every soul were like the souls of the holy Doctors who have shed light on the Church through the clarity of their doctrine, it seems that God wouldn't come down low enough by coming only as far as their great hearts. But He created the child who doesn't know anything and only cries weakly, He created poor primitive persons who only have natural law as a guide- and it is to their hearts that He consents to come down: Here are wildflowers whose simplicity delights Him...
By bringing Himself low in this way, God shows His infinite greatness. Just as the sun shines at the same time on the tall cedars and on each little flower as if it were the only one on earth, in the same way Our Lord is concerned particularly for every soul as if there were none other like it. And just as in nature all the seasons are arranged in such a way as to cause the humblest of daisy to open on the appointed day, in the same way all things correspond to the good of each soul."
I know I've fallen into the trap of wishing I was like someone else, wishing I had their holiness or their spiritual gifts. But we have to realize that if we were all the same, if we were all roses or lilies, there would be no diversity in God's garden. We have to accept ourselves, in all of our faults and gifts, exactly as we are because in God's eyes we are magnificient. We are beautiful. We give him joy by being the flower that He created us to be, no matter if we are a lily or a simple daisy.
"For a long time I wondered why God showed partiality, why all souls don't recieve the same amount of graces. I was astounded to see Him lavish extraordinary favors on the Saints who had offended Him such as St. Paul and St. Augustine, and whom He so to speak forced to recieve His graces. Or when I read the life of Saints whom Our Lord was pleased to embrace from the cradle to the grave, without leaving in their path any obstacles that might hinder them from rising toward Him, and granting these souls such favors that they were unable to tarnish the immaculate brightness of their baptismal robes, I wondered why poor primitive people, for example, were dying in great number without even having heard the name of God pronounced..
Jesus consented to teach me this mystery. He placed before my eyes the book of nature; I understood that all the flowers that He created are beautiful. The brilliance of the rose and the whiteness of the lily don't take away the perfume of the lowly violet or the delightful simplicity of the daisy...I understood that if all the little flowers wanted to be roses, nature would lose its springtime adornment, and the fields would no longer be sprinkled with little flowers...
So it is in the world of souls, which is Jesus' garden. He wanted to create great Saints who could be compared to lilies and roses. But He also created little ones, and these ought to be content to be daisies or violets destined to gladden God's eyes when He glances down at His feet. Perfection consists in doing His will, in being what He wants us to be...
I understood that Our Lord's love is revealed as well in the simplest soul who doesn't resist His grace in anything, as in the most sublime of souls. In fact, since the essence of love is to bring oneself low, if every soul were like the souls of the holy Doctors who have shed light on the Church through the clarity of their doctrine, it seems that God wouldn't come down low enough by coming only as far as their great hearts. But He created the child who doesn't know anything and only cries weakly, He created poor primitive persons who only have natural law as a guide- and it is to their hearts that He consents to come down: Here are wildflowers whose simplicity delights Him...
By bringing Himself low in this way, God shows His infinite greatness. Just as the sun shines at the same time on the tall cedars and on each little flower as if it were the only one on earth, in the same way Our Lord is concerned particularly for every soul as if there were none other like it. And just as in nature all the seasons are arranged in such a way as to cause the humblest of daisy to open on the appointed day, in the same way all things correspond to the good of each soul."
I know I've fallen into the trap of wishing I was like someone else, wishing I had their holiness or their spiritual gifts. But we have to realize that if we were all the same, if we were all roses or lilies, there would be no diversity in God's garden. We have to accept ourselves, in all of our faults and gifts, exactly as we are because in God's eyes we are magnificient. We are beautiful. We give him joy by being the flower that He created us to be, no matter if we are a lily or a simple daisy.
Friday, June 11, 2010
All Creation Sings Praise to God
Today I went down to the docks and sat on a rock overlooking the water, taking everything in. The water was so calm and the sky was bright blue. As I sat there contemplating God, listening to the sound of the waves rhythmically lapping the rocks, my soul felt such calm, such peace. It was the first time since I got back from Haiti that I was truly silent and let God fully enter my heart.
One of the major personal themes of my trip to Haiti was growing in my awareness of God the Father, the Creator, and deepening my relationship with Him. This past year, I've focused so much on my relationship with Jesus and the Holy Spirit and haven't given the Father much thought. In my mind He was more of a distant reality, not the first Person of the Trinity who we are capable of having a personal and intimate relationship with. During one morning prayer, one of the team members on my trip brought up the quote "All creation sings praise to God simply by being fully what the Creator intended." What he said really struck me, that everything in nature- the plants, the animals, the earth itself- gives glory and praise to God just by being what He created them to be. The harmony of nature is itself a song of praise to the Creator. Biology and faith are not separate, but are in fact connected on the deepest level. This caused me to have a whole new outlook on things.
It is very easy to appreciate nature when you're in Haiti. It is right in your face and holds a power over you that it doesn't in the States, where we have a lot of things separating us from it. The stars are so bright it feels like you can reach out and touch them. The lightening at night coming over the hills is so clear and the rain is so fresh. Everything around me came alive when I started paying more attention to it. I found that as I became more aware, I started feeling more natural in my own body. I was tapping into the harmony of nature and surrendering myself to it as well. My soul felt a peace that I had not experienced before. It felt a freedom, a lightness. I was glorifying God in my every action, by living out the life that He wants me to live. By being the person that He wants me to be.
When we as humans surrender ourselves to His will and be who we were created to be, it must give the Father so much greater glory and joy than the rest of creation. This is because everything else in nature is programmed to be obedient to the laws of creation. Humans have the power to choose. We have free will. We can make a conscious and rational decision to either follow God's will in our lives or our own. God gave us this gift so that we could choose to love Him, not be forced to. Living our lives in accordance with His plan for us is one of the sweetest gifts and forms of praise that we can give to our Father. It fills His heart with joy. You may not know now what the Father's plan is for you. But if you spend time in silence and ask the Father to reveal it to you, He will in His own time, in His own way.
When I was sitting down by the water, I said a rosary. It was one of the sweetest rosaries I have ever said. I sat there with my eyes closed, with the warmth of the sun on my face and the power of the Holy Spirit rushing past me in the wind. In Volume 3 of Anne a Lay Apostle, God the Father says "Dear children, as you have been told, you cannot see the wind, but you see the power of the wind and you see the beautiful things that can be achieved when you harness that power. I am the same." I felt so small sitting there, and God felt so big. About half way through the rosary, after I had spent some time contemplating the power and goodness of God, I felt the wind die down. Then a tremendous feeling of love overswept my heart. It was so tender, so pure. I know it was God revealing to me a fraction of the love that He feels for me, His child. He feels this for every single one of us, whether we believe in Him or not. He doesn't show it to us in its entirety because He knows like a wise Father that we would not be able to handle it in our humanity.
We all have a Father in Heaven. We are all His children and He yearns to give us each His love.
One of the major personal themes of my trip to Haiti was growing in my awareness of God the Father, the Creator, and deepening my relationship with Him. This past year, I've focused so much on my relationship with Jesus and the Holy Spirit and haven't given the Father much thought. In my mind He was more of a distant reality, not the first Person of the Trinity who we are capable of having a personal and intimate relationship with. During one morning prayer, one of the team members on my trip brought up the quote "All creation sings praise to God simply by being fully what the Creator intended." What he said really struck me, that everything in nature- the plants, the animals, the earth itself- gives glory and praise to God just by being what He created them to be. The harmony of nature is itself a song of praise to the Creator. Biology and faith are not separate, but are in fact connected on the deepest level. This caused me to have a whole new outlook on things.
It is very easy to appreciate nature when you're in Haiti. It is right in your face and holds a power over you that it doesn't in the States, where we have a lot of things separating us from it. The stars are so bright it feels like you can reach out and touch them. The lightening at night coming over the hills is so clear and the rain is so fresh. Everything around me came alive when I started paying more attention to it. I found that as I became more aware, I started feeling more natural in my own body. I was tapping into the harmony of nature and surrendering myself to it as well. My soul felt a peace that I had not experienced before. It felt a freedom, a lightness. I was glorifying God in my every action, by living out the life that He wants me to live. By being the person that He wants me to be.
When we as humans surrender ourselves to His will and be who we were created to be, it must give the Father so much greater glory and joy than the rest of creation. This is because everything else in nature is programmed to be obedient to the laws of creation. Humans have the power to choose. We have free will. We can make a conscious and rational decision to either follow God's will in our lives or our own. God gave us this gift so that we could choose to love Him, not be forced to. Living our lives in accordance with His plan for us is one of the sweetest gifts and forms of praise that we can give to our Father. It fills His heart with joy. You may not know now what the Father's plan is for you. But if you spend time in silence and ask the Father to reveal it to you, He will in His own time, in His own way.
When I was sitting down by the water, I said a rosary. It was one of the sweetest rosaries I have ever said. I sat there with my eyes closed, with the warmth of the sun on my face and the power of the Holy Spirit rushing past me in the wind. In Volume 3 of Anne a Lay Apostle, God the Father says "Dear children, as you have been told, you cannot see the wind, but you see the power of the wind and you see the beautiful things that can be achieved when you harness that power. I am the same." I felt so small sitting there, and God felt so big. About half way through the rosary, after I had spent some time contemplating the power and goodness of God, I felt the wind die down. Then a tremendous feeling of love overswept my heart. It was so tender, so pure. I know it was God revealing to me a fraction of the love that He feels for me, His child. He feels this for every single one of us, whether we believe in Him or not. He doesn't show it to us in its entirety because He knows like a wise Father that we would not be able to handle it in our humanity.
We all have a Father in Heaven. We are all His children and He yearns to give us each His love.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
We are all God's children- reflections from my trip to Haiti
Hey all! So I promised some people that I would write when I got home, talking about my trip. Words cannot adequately begin to describe everything that my heart felt and experienced while I was down there, but I’m going to try my best!
I was so restless on the plane to Haiti. I couldn’t believe that I was actually going back. I had been waiting every day for a year to return to this little island and continue the work I started, and it was so exciting to be getting the chance to go. The 4 hour plane ride felt like it took years. As soon as we landed, I wanted to jump out of my seat, run through the airport, and find Manno and the rest of the team that was waiting for us. But God had been teaching me patience throughout this whole year, and He wasn’t going to give up on one more opportunity.
Cracks. That was the first sign of the earthquake I saw in the airport in Port-Au-Prince. They were everywhere. Some big and obvious, some small and spider-like that could only be seen if you looked close. It was so surreal to be standing on ground that 4 months ago to the day caused Haiti to see one of its darkest moments. To be seeing it with my own eyes, and not through a television screen. However, my thoughts were quickly interrupted by a large group of Haitians playing joyful island music at the bottom of the stairs with smiles on their faces for everyone walking by. Their resilience. It constantly amazes me.
Outside in the craziness of the streets surrounding the airport, I somehow found Manno’s face and I instantly relaxed. Someone familiar. I was safe. He led us over to the brand new truck that our mission owns. I sat right next to the open back to help my carsickness, and therefore was a direct target for the Haitians crowding around trying to sell us anything and everything. Many of them pleaded with me to buy something, listing off everyone they lost in the quake. Wives, mothers, sisters, children. They kept asking for anything that we could give them, so we gave them some sandwiches and packs of water from the truck. There was one boy about 13 years old who stuck out to me particularly. After giving him a sandwich and some water, I said I would pray for him. He smiled and said he would pray for me too. As we drove away he kinda ran alongside our truck, me shouting in Creole that I was praying for him and him shouting back that he would pray for me too. I might not have made his financial situation any better, but I pray that I gave him hope. Hope that there are people around the world praying for him, caring about him.
I was surprised how much the city had cleaned up, at least along the main roads. I had the news images burned into my brain, and was expecting it to still be like that. You could definitely tell there had been an earthquake though, in the piles of rubble along the road and big gaping holes where buildings used to stand. There were tents everywhere. Huge tent cities, where the millions of homeless people now live. As we drove a few miles outside of the main city, more towards the epicenter of the quake, the damage became much more visible and less cleaned up. Buildings completely pancaked, like huge graves for all of the bodies still trapped inside. Mounds of rubble along the side of the road. That was hard to see. The world has started to forget about Haiti again, now that the news cameras have pulled out. But there is still so much work that needs to be done here, still so much help that is needed.
We finally got to the village at night, after bouncing around in the back of the truck for about 5 hours. Everyone at the orphanage started cheering and clapping, and surged towards the back of the truck as soon as we parked. We all picked up a kid and just started hugging them. It was beautiful. That first night I took my cot up onto the roof and slept under the stars. They are so brilliant, so clear there. They make you feel so small and powerless. But so appreciative at the same time, for having so wonderful a Creator. The mountains surrounding the orphanage are beautiful, but they hold a new power for me now- a dangerous one.
The children are so amazing. They love with every ounce of their being. They don’t care if they know you or not, if you’re white or black. They simply love you because you’re there. Their eyes are so big, so full. They showed me the true healing power of love. Some of the orphans had been there since before the earthquake, others were there because their parents had died in it. Many of them were miserable and traumatized when they came here, but now run around with joyful smiles and shrieks of laughter. It’s a miracle of God, how children can forget so easily with a little bit of love. It’s amazing how quickly my maternal instinct kicks in here, so much more than in the States. When they fall asleep in my lap, they trust me. They’re safe from the challenges of life for a bit. Once when I was holding one of the earthquake orphans as he was sleeping, I got a beautiful sense that I was holding him for his mom in Heaven. She was loving him through me. It’s such an indescribable feeling.
We went on some house visits the first day. I gave out rosaries from Medjugorje and blessed a few sick people with holy water. It felt so good, so natural, to pray with the people. My heart was on fire. This is what I was meant to do. When we were walking back, one of the kids from the village who I knew from the last trip was walking next to me. He mumbled something in Creole that I didn’t hear, and when I asked him what he said he told me in broken English “I love you.. very much.” My heart melted and all I could say was “me too” but I wanted to just sit and cry right there.
The third full day we were there, I spent all day with the kids. I hardly talked to anyone else. They were a mix of orphans, village children, and children of refugee families living on the property. Some of the older ones and I took videos on my camera. The little ones just sat in my lap. They all were craving love and attention, no matter their age. At one point I was sitting on the floor of the front porch with about 4 kids all asleep on me in different angles. It was so precious. A group of girls from the village started calling me Mami and followed me around everywhere like a pack. It was kind of scary…they would start doing things for me and helping me like I was their actual mother.
We went to the next village over where the church is one night for a mission night. It starts with a rosary, praise and worship session, and then ends with the saying of the Divine Office since a priest can’t be present to make it a mass. All in all it takes 3-4 hours, depending on how long the people feel like singing. And it’s glorious. We walked around to all the houses near the church beforehand, inviting people to come. We visited a house where a young father lives with his 4 children. His wife just died of an ear infection. An ear infection. They couldn’t afford the antibiotics. We climbed to the top of a big hill to visit a little old lady named Madamn Morigen. She was so happy to see us, even though she was feeling sick. She gave us all kisses (some more than others..) and praised God for sending us to her. I blessed her with holy water and she went nuts with excitement. She taught me the importance of joy in the midst of suffering. At the mission night, we sang a mix of Creole and American praise and worship songs. It was like a sharing of cultures. But whether we were white or black, Haitian or American, spoke Creole or English, we all were praising the same God. We are all His children and are all the same in His eyes.
It’s so easy to forget the horrors of Port-Au-Prince when you’re out in the village. The orphanage is like an oasis, a paradise in the midst of suffering and tragedy. Life is so natural and simple there. You rise with the sun and go to sleep when it’s dark. I felt so rested every night because I was listening to my body and not an alarm clock. I was eating healthy food that wasn’t processed and full of chemicals, and bathed in the river every day. I didn’t rush to the next thing all the time, but enjoyed the present moment. One of the Haitians asked me why I love Haiti so much, that I must love the States more. I said that the States was my home, and will always be special to me, but that my heart feels more full here. I am doing God’s will here. I feel free here. I hope I didn’t offend him or seem ungrateful, because many Haitians would do anything to live in America. But what I said is true. I need to work on being more grateful. I was born in the US for a reason and can’t shed it off but must always carry it with me.
I love how all of the people at the mission call it a house, not an orphanage. Because that’s what it is- a home. A home filled with love. These children are never truly orphans because we are all God’s children. We all have a Father and mother in Heaven. I love the focus of the mission- to make sure that every child is held and loved. It never feels like an orphanage, but a family. Many nights Louis will gather the children around him and tell them about Jesus and sing worship songs with them. It is like a father teaching his children.. it's so beautiful to see.
I bathed the kids in the river twice. The second time a group of us girls went without Johnna or Katie, and it was hilarious. The kids knew they could get away with things. They were wriggling all over, and it’s almost impossible to hold on when they’re covered in soap. I think I ended up getting wetter than they did. All of the Haitian women sitting on the other side of the river washing clothes were staring and laughing at us like we were crazy. At one point, I looked over my shoulder and saw the 6 year old rapping, butt naked, with a pair of our sunglasses on. It’s things like that that make me love Haiti even more.
On Sunday after church we went horseback riding across the countryside. Louis started a horse program in the village, to try and salvage the “horse culture.” Each missionary paid $10 (which converts to a good amount of Haitian money) to rent a horse from a villager. This allows the villagers to make a little bit of money, motivates them to keep up their horses in good condition, and gives them something of theirs to be proud of. It was so much fun, but extremely painful since hardly any of the horses had saddles. Mine had a thick blanket. The countryside is so beautiful. We must have looked like such a circus of white people who had no clue what they were doing. As we rode by each house, the kids would come running up to the road and wave and laugh. We rode for a good 3 hours, and when we got back none of us could walk.
Our main work mission of the week was to paint as much of the inside of the orphanage as possible. Monday I decided to take some time apart from the kids and paint for most of the day. While I missed them, it was good for me to get to know some of the mission team better. A few of the Haitians involved in the mission are our age and helped us paint all week. I quickly realized that while we there first and foremost for the kids, the guys needed us too. They had all been in the city when the earthquake happened and some of them have been through suffering that I will never fully be able to comprehend. Hearing a story about how one of them tried to help other people in the aftermath, I was so proud. But my heart also broke at the same time. They needed us to help them escape life for a bit, to give them hope. Some of us got into a huge paint war. We all just let loose and acted like a bunch of kids. It was so good to see them laughing and smiling and having a good time.
We had mass twice during the week. With the Eucharist. Once in Durgerver, once in Dandann. I couldn’t believe it. In rural Haiti, there is usually one priest assigned to a vast area. It is impossible for him to make it around to all the villages on a regular basis, and so the Haitians can’t receive the Eucharist too frequently. And we got it twice in one week. I was so excited to receive Jesus, and couldn’t imagine how much more excited the Haitians were. However, when Communion time came around, I was shocked and extremely humbled. Hardly anyone got up to receive. They had the chance to receive Him and were giving it up, because they felt unworthy to receive Him. It’s not automatic to go up and get Communion like it is in the States. Their love, faith, reverence, and humility constantly amazes me. I wish I had that.
Near the end of the week, we took the afternoon off and went to the beach. It was about a 2 hour drive. It was one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen.. like a dream, or a postcard. The sand was white and the water matched the sky. We had such a fun day, enjoying each other’s company. I got that guilty feeling again though, that I was away from the kids and having too much fun. But the Lord is so good, and showed me all of the ways that I was still doing His work on this outing. He showed me the unity that was being built amongst our team and between us and the Haitians. He showed me the smiles and looks of relaxation on Johnna and Katie’s faces, who have been through so much and needed a day off. He let me hear the laughter coming out of everyone, from Haitians who in January probably thought that they may never laugh again. One had a look of awe on his face and told me he thought all of Haiti was ruined after the earthquake. But this place was still beautiful, untainted. He was so excited. He had hope again. And he can bring that hope back with him and share it with others who haven’t left the city yet and don’t know what it’s like outside of Port-Au-Prince. That's the hope that I wanted to spread on this trip.
On the way back from the beach, we all got rowdy. We were singing and drumming on the side of the truck at the top of our lungs, so carefree. It was such a gift. A few of our team members sat up on the roof, while the rest of us stayed in the truck. White and black didn’t matter. We were just one big bunch of singing badjougans. The looks on the faces of people as we drove past them was priceless. Some were scared, some were confused, and most were just awe-struck. At one point we took a wrong turn and were stopped on the side of the road in the middle of a gathering area. We were singing a pumped-up version of Lean On Me, literally giving a concert to these people. Some of them started dancing. It was so much fun.
For the last two full days we were there, we went into painting overdrive. We finished the entire downstairs, and primed half of the upstairs. We had two more mission nights, both of which were beautiful. There was a 4.5 shake in the middle of the night that I remember waking up to. We went on one last house visit to a single mother with 9 children. The father left, and the mom has no way to support herself. They are literally starving. And to make things worse, their one room hut was damaged in the quake and is being propped up by a large stick. We brought them water with EmercenC powder in it and Clif bars, and prayed with them. Some of us donated money to buy them food, and we found out they might be receiving a lot of help later this summer. Praise God! An older man from the fields came and sat next to me, and told me that he hurt all over. I thought I told him I would be praying for him, but he made the Sign of the Cross and kind of looked at me expectantly. Gotta love the language barrier. Thankfully I had memorized the Hail Mary in Creole, so we sat there and prayed it together. It was such a beautiful moment.
Saying goodbye to everyone was so hard, especially the kids. They were so sad to see us all leave. But I kept telling them that I was in their hearts and they were in mine, so I wasn’t really leaving. We all piled into the truck and started to pull away. Everyone was gathered and waving goodbye, with Johnna and the kids in the front. It took every muscle in my body to keep me from jumping out of the back and staying. The sound of the gate closing reverberated in my ears, like a part of my life closing for a little while until I am back there again.
Haiti taught me so many things this time around. It taught me humility, gratitude, love, resilience, and calm acceptance. I grew in my relationship with God the Father, who was a big focus in the Gospels during our time there. I was so in tune with nature, with my body, with being who I was created to be by Him. On one of our last nights, we were praising up on the roof before we went to bed. We were singing, calling out His name, reaching out to Him, while a huge cloud of lightening was coming towards us over the mountains. It was so powerful. I learned to be grateful of each moment, of each day. The people in Haiti have so little that they are satisfied with what God gives them. They do not always crave more like we do in the States, but see each day as a gift. Their resilience in the midst of so much suffering is a beacon of light to the world, to inspire the hope of the Resurrection in everyone.
Most people are surprised when I say that it is only a 4 hour plane ride to Haiti. They naturally think that since it's a third world country, it must be far away from the States. But it is only a 45 minute plane ride away from the nearest US border. I don't think it's a coincidence that the hemisphere's richest nation and poorest nation are practically next door neighbors. It shows us how when one group of people live in superflous wealth, another group of people are bound to be deprived. We need to realize that God gave us the earth for everyone, not just one select group of people. We need to share what God gave us with our brothers and sisters in Christ, because in His body we are all one.
I was so restless on the plane to Haiti. I couldn’t believe that I was actually going back. I had been waiting every day for a year to return to this little island and continue the work I started, and it was so exciting to be getting the chance to go. The 4 hour plane ride felt like it took years. As soon as we landed, I wanted to jump out of my seat, run through the airport, and find Manno and the rest of the team that was waiting for us. But God had been teaching me patience throughout this whole year, and He wasn’t going to give up on one more opportunity.
Cracks. That was the first sign of the earthquake I saw in the airport in Port-Au-Prince. They were everywhere. Some big and obvious, some small and spider-like that could only be seen if you looked close. It was so surreal to be standing on ground that 4 months ago to the day caused Haiti to see one of its darkest moments. To be seeing it with my own eyes, and not through a television screen. However, my thoughts were quickly interrupted by a large group of Haitians playing joyful island music at the bottom of the stairs with smiles on their faces for everyone walking by. Their resilience. It constantly amazes me.
Outside in the craziness of the streets surrounding the airport, I somehow found Manno’s face and I instantly relaxed. Someone familiar. I was safe. He led us over to the brand new truck that our mission owns. I sat right next to the open back to help my carsickness, and therefore was a direct target for the Haitians crowding around trying to sell us anything and everything. Many of them pleaded with me to buy something, listing off everyone they lost in the quake. Wives, mothers, sisters, children. They kept asking for anything that we could give them, so we gave them some sandwiches and packs of water from the truck. There was one boy about 13 years old who stuck out to me particularly. After giving him a sandwich and some water, I said I would pray for him. He smiled and said he would pray for me too. As we drove away he kinda ran alongside our truck, me shouting in Creole that I was praying for him and him shouting back that he would pray for me too. I might not have made his financial situation any better, but I pray that I gave him hope. Hope that there are people around the world praying for him, caring about him.
I was surprised how much the city had cleaned up, at least along the main roads. I had the news images burned into my brain, and was expecting it to still be like that. You could definitely tell there had been an earthquake though, in the piles of rubble along the road and big gaping holes where buildings used to stand. There were tents everywhere. Huge tent cities, where the millions of homeless people now live. As we drove a few miles outside of the main city, more towards the epicenter of the quake, the damage became much more visible and less cleaned up. Buildings completely pancaked, like huge graves for all of the bodies still trapped inside. Mounds of rubble along the side of the road. That was hard to see. The world has started to forget about Haiti again, now that the news cameras have pulled out. But there is still so much work that needs to be done here, still so much help that is needed.
We finally got to the village at night, after bouncing around in the back of the truck for about 5 hours. Everyone at the orphanage started cheering and clapping, and surged towards the back of the truck as soon as we parked. We all picked up a kid and just started hugging them. It was beautiful. That first night I took my cot up onto the roof and slept under the stars. They are so brilliant, so clear there. They make you feel so small and powerless. But so appreciative at the same time, for having so wonderful a Creator. The mountains surrounding the orphanage are beautiful, but they hold a new power for me now- a dangerous one.
The children are so amazing. They love with every ounce of their being. They don’t care if they know you or not, if you’re white or black. They simply love you because you’re there. Their eyes are so big, so full. They showed me the true healing power of love. Some of the orphans had been there since before the earthquake, others were there because their parents had died in it. Many of them were miserable and traumatized when they came here, but now run around with joyful smiles and shrieks of laughter. It’s a miracle of God, how children can forget so easily with a little bit of love. It’s amazing how quickly my maternal instinct kicks in here, so much more than in the States. When they fall asleep in my lap, they trust me. They’re safe from the challenges of life for a bit. Once when I was holding one of the earthquake orphans as he was sleeping, I got a beautiful sense that I was holding him for his mom in Heaven. She was loving him through me. It’s such an indescribable feeling.
We went on some house visits the first day. I gave out rosaries from Medjugorje and blessed a few sick people with holy water. It felt so good, so natural, to pray with the people. My heart was on fire. This is what I was meant to do. When we were walking back, one of the kids from the village who I knew from the last trip was walking next to me. He mumbled something in Creole that I didn’t hear, and when I asked him what he said he told me in broken English “I love you.. very much.” My heart melted and all I could say was “me too” but I wanted to just sit and cry right there.
The third full day we were there, I spent all day with the kids. I hardly talked to anyone else. They were a mix of orphans, village children, and children of refugee families living on the property. Some of the older ones and I took videos on my camera. The little ones just sat in my lap. They all were craving love and attention, no matter their age. At one point I was sitting on the floor of the front porch with about 4 kids all asleep on me in different angles. It was so precious. A group of girls from the village started calling me Mami and followed me around everywhere like a pack. It was kind of scary…they would start doing things for me and helping me like I was their actual mother.
We went to the next village over where the church is one night for a mission night. It starts with a rosary, praise and worship session, and then ends with the saying of the Divine Office since a priest can’t be present to make it a mass. All in all it takes 3-4 hours, depending on how long the people feel like singing. And it’s glorious. We walked around to all the houses near the church beforehand, inviting people to come. We visited a house where a young father lives with his 4 children. His wife just died of an ear infection. An ear infection. They couldn’t afford the antibiotics. We climbed to the top of a big hill to visit a little old lady named Madamn Morigen. She was so happy to see us, even though she was feeling sick. She gave us all kisses (some more than others..) and praised God for sending us to her. I blessed her with holy water and she went nuts with excitement. She taught me the importance of joy in the midst of suffering. At the mission night, we sang a mix of Creole and American praise and worship songs. It was like a sharing of cultures. But whether we were white or black, Haitian or American, spoke Creole or English, we all were praising the same God. We are all His children and are all the same in His eyes.
It’s so easy to forget the horrors of Port-Au-Prince when you’re out in the village. The orphanage is like an oasis, a paradise in the midst of suffering and tragedy. Life is so natural and simple there. You rise with the sun and go to sleep when it’s dark. I felt so rested every night because I was listening to my body and not an alarm clock. I was eating healthy food that wasn’t processed and full of chemicals, and bathed in the river every day. I didn’t rush to the next thing all the time, but enjoyed the present moment. One of the Haitians asked me why I love Haiti so much, that I must love the States more. I said that the States was my home, and will always be special to me, but that my heart feels more full here. I am doing God’s will here. I feel free here. I hope I didn’t offend him or seem ungrateful, because many Haitians would do anything to live in America. But what I said is true. I need to work on being more grateful. I was born in the US for a reason and can’t shed it off but must always carry it with me.
I love how all of the people at the mission call it a house, not an orphanage. Because that’s what it is- a home. A home filled with love. These children are never truly orphans because we are all God’s children. We all have a Father and mother in Heaven. I love the focus of the mission- to make sure that every child is held and loved. It never feels like an orphanage, but a family. Many nights Louis will gather the children around him and tell them about Jesus and sing worship songs with them. It is like a father teaching his children.. it's so beautiful to see.
I bathed the kids in the river twice. The second time a group of us girls went without Johnna or Katie, and it was hilarious. The kids knew they could get away with things. They were wriggling all over, and it’s almost impossible to hold on when they’re covered in soap. I think I ended up getting wetter than they did. All of the Haitian women sitting on the other side of the river washing clothes were staring and laughing at us like we were crazy. At one point, I looked over my shoulder and saw the 6 year old rapping, butt naked, with a pair of our sunglasses on. It’s things like that that make me love Haiti even more.
On Sunday after church we went horseback riding across the countryside. Louis started a horse program in the village, to try and salvage the “horse culture.” Each missionary paid $10 (which converts to a good amount of Haitian money) to rent a horse from a villager. This allows the villagers to make a little bit of money, motivates them to keep up their horses in good condition, and gives them something of theirs to be proud of. It was so much fun, but extremely painful since hardly any of the horses had saddles. Mine had a thick blanket. The countryside is so beautiful. We must have looked like such a circus of white people who had no clue what they were doing. As we rode by each house, the kids would come running up to the road and wave and laugh. We rode for a good 3 hours, and when we got back none of us could walk.
Our main work mission of the week was to paint as much of the inside of the orphanage as possible. Monday I decided to take some time apart from the kids and paint for most of the day. While I missed them, it was good for me to get to know some of the mission team better. A few of the Haitians involved in the mission are our age and helped us paint all week. I quickly realized that while we there first and foremost for the kids, the guys needed us too. They had all been in the city when the earthquake happened and some of them have been through suffering that I will never fully be able to comprehend. Hearing a story about how one of them tried to help other people in the aftermath, I was so proud. But my heart also broke at the same time. They needed us to help them escape life for a bit, to give them hope. Some of us got into a huge paint war. We all just let loose and acted like a bunch of kids. It was so good to see them laughing and smiling and having a good time.
We had mass twice during the week. With the Eucharist. Once in Durgerver, once in Dandann. I couldn’t believe it. In rural Haiti, there is usually one priest assigned to a vast area. It is impossible for him to make it around to all the villages on a regular basis, and so the Haitians can’t receive the Eucharist too frequently. And we got it twice in one week. I was so excited to receive Jesus, and couldn’t imagine how much more excited the Haitians were. However, when Communion time came around, I was shocked and extremely humbled. Hardly anyone got up to receive. They had the chance to receive Him and were giving it up, because they felt unworthy to receive Him. It’s not automatic to go up and get Communion like it is in the States. Their love, faith, reverence, and humility constantly amazes me. I wish I had that.
Near the end of the week, we took the afternoon off and went to the beach. It was about a 2 hour drive. It was one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen.. like a dream, or a postcard. The sand was white and the water matched the sky. We had such a fun day, enjoying each other’s company. I got that guilty feeling again though, that I was away from the kids and having too much fun. But the Lord is so good, and showed me all of the ways that I was still doing His work on this outing. He showed me the unity that was being built amongst our team and between us and the Haitians. He showed me the smiles and looks of relaxation on Johnna and Katie’s faces, who have been through so much and needed a day off. He let me hear the laughter coming out of everyone, from Haitians who in January probably thought that they may never laugh again. One had a look of awe on his face and told me he thought all of Haiti was ruined after the earthquake. But this place was still beautiful, untainted. He was so excited. He had hope again. And he can bring that hope back with him and share it with others who haven’t left the city yet and don’t know what it’s like outside of Port-Au-Prince. That's the hope that I wanted to spread on this trip.
On the way back from the beach, we all got rowdy. We were singing and drumming on the side of the truck at the top of our lungs, so carefree. It was such a gift. A few of our team members sat up on the roof, while the rest of us stayed in the truck. White and black didn’t matter. We were just one big bunch of singing badjougans. The looks on the faces of people as we drove past them was priceless. Some were scared, some were confused, and most were just awe-struck. At one point we took a wrong turn and were stopped on the side of the road in the middle of a gathering area. We were singing a pumped-up version of Lean On Me, literally giving a concert to these people. Some of them started dancing. It was so much fun.
For the last two full days we were there, we went into painting overdrive. We finished the entire downstairs, and primed half of the upstairs. We had two more mission nights, both of which were beautiful. There was a 4.5 shake in the middle of the night that I remember waking up to. We went on one last house visit to a single mother with 9 children. The father left, and the mom has no way to support herself. They are literally starving. And to make things worse, their one room hut was damaged in the quake and is being propped up by a large stick. We brought them water with EmercenC powder in it and Clif bars, and prayed with them. Some of us donated money to buy them food, and we found out they might be receiving a lot of help later this summer. Praise God! An older man from the fields came and sat next to me, and told me that he hurt all over. I thought I told him I would be praying for him, but he made the Sign of the Cross and kind of looked at me expectantly. Gotta love the language barrier. Thankfully I had memorized the Hail Mary in Creole, so we sat there and prayed it together. It was such a beautiful moment.
Saying goodbye to everyone was so hard, especially the kids. They were so sad to see us all leave. But I kept telling them that I was in their hearts and they were in mine, so I wasn’t really leaving. We all piled into the truck and started to pull away. Everyone was gathered and waving goodbye, with Johnna and the kids in the front. It took every muscle in my body to keep me from jumping out of the back and staying. The sound of the gate closing reverberated in my ears, like a part of my life closing for a little while until I am back there again.
Haiti taught me so many things this time around. It taught me humility, gratitude, love, resilience, and calm acceptance. I grew in my relationship with God the Father, who was a big focus in the Gospels during our time there. I was so in tune with nature, with my body, with being who I was created to be by Him. On one of our last nights, we were praising up on the roof before we went to bed. We were singing, calling out His name, reaching out to Him, while a huge cloud of lightening was coming towards us over the mountains. It was so powerful. I learned to be grateful of each moment, of each day. The people in Haiti have so little that they are satisfied with what God gives them. They do not always crave more like we do in the States, but see each day as a gift. Their resilience in the midst of so much suffering is a beacon of light to the world, to inspire the hope of the Resurrection in everyone.
Most people are surprised when I say that it is only a 4 hour plane ride to Haiti. They naturally think that since it's a third world country, it must be far away from the States. But it is only a 45 minute plane ride away from the nearest US border. I don't think it's a coincidence that the hemisphere's richest nation and poorest nation are practically next door neighbors. It shows us how when one group of people live in superflous wealth, another group of people are bound to be deprived. We need to realize that God gave us the earth for everyone, not just one select group of people. We need to share what God gave us with our brothers and sisters in Christ, because in His body we are all one.
How can God allow evil and suffering in the world?
hey all.. it’s me again with another encyclical haha. God has just been putting so much on my heart lately that I can’t help sharing it with you all!
as you may know, I’m going down to Haiti in a few weeks with 20 students from Franciscan. it’s been all I can think about (more than usual haha), and as I’ve been trying to prepare myself for the devastation I’m going to see down there a few things have kept coming up in my mind. why did the earthquake have to happen? Why did all those people have to suffer so much? Couldn’t God have stopped it from happening? Thank God our God is a loving God, for He has patiently helped me answer these questions and given me so many little revelations that my heart is bursting with gratitude.
Evil does not come from God. It can’t. it’s impossible. Yes, he can allow it to happen, but it does not originate from Him. It originates from our sin and from the harmful effects it has on our brothers and sisters around the world. it comes from the Evil One who has temporary “control” of this world, but who will not prevail. How can God allow evil things to happen though, you may ask, and still be an all-good God? Well, He promises us that where sin abounds, grace abounds all the more. He has the power to take an evil situation and turn it into an opportunity for growth, healing, and love. Being all-good doesn’t necessarily equate to no suffering..it means that God knows what’s best for us and will only do that. Remember He is all-knowing as well. It is like a parent trying to teach a kid to ride a bike. The kid is going to fall a few times and may get hurt, but the parent knows in His wise mind that if he holds on to the bike the whole time and never lets go then his kid will never learn to ride. God is like the wise parent. He knows that through suffering we will stretch our spiritual muscles, so to speak, and will gain eternal life by our faith in times of darkness. So our suffering is not a justification for saying that God does not exist or that he is not all-good, because in the long run He is doing us a favor by helping us to gain eternal life.
How, then, can God also be all-powerful if He doesn’t step in and intervene when He has the power to do so? This is because He respects His creation. He made us with free-will, in our rational minds, and in this way we are in His image and likeness. It would be a contradiction for Him to make us in this way and then not respect it by completely controlling our world, and God cannot contradict Himself (thank you, metaphysics class!) therefore, as much as it pains Him to see, He allows us to live with the consequences of our free actions and decisions. If God just completely controlled our minds so that we acted and loved as He wants us to, then we would be robots and wouldn’t choose freely to love Him. What would you rather have, a spouse or child who was programmed to love you and didn’t think twice about it, or someone who freely chose you over all the other people in the world out of his own free will? I know I would take the latter. He is calling us to “accept hardship and suffering and to not blame God. To tell ourselves that hardship and suffering is an opportunity to give loyalty and faith to God the Father.”
How different would the earthquake in Haiti have been if we had all shared our wealth with everyone? If instead of crappy cement and huts the Haitians were living in reinforced houses mean to withstand earthquakes? If instead of spending every waking moment concentrating on trying to stay alive and feed your children, people had the time and money to try and build up their government? Things would have been a lot different. There would not have been a catastrophic loss of life. Well, you may ask, what does this have to do with me? Doesn’t God decide who’s poor and who’s rich? No. God has provided enough resources on this earth to feed, clothe, and house every person on earth. It is us humans, with our free will, who decide to keep more than we need and create a disproportion of goods. And what if the person made by God to prevent this or lessen its impact was aborted as a baby or did not hear God’s call to serve because he/she was too busy being distracted with the things of this world? God does not cause evil. It is our own doing.
It makes me sick to my stomach when I see humungous houses the size of a small hotel built for only 2 or 3 people, knowing that there’s a dozen people somewhere else in the world trying to cram into a hut or shack to keep out of the rain or cold. Or all of the millions of homeless people in the world without a bed to sleep in. It makes me sick thinking of all the food that restaurants throw out every night when somewhere else in the world children are dying from starvation. It makes me sick to see stores full of fancy clothes for people to buy to cram into their bulging closet, when there are people around the world who have only one outfit to wear until it falls apart. I am guilty of all of these things. I am not perfect. But I am trying my best to be aware of this gross gluttony that we have in the more developed nations and try to reduce my share in it. Instead of living like this, try downsizing your home. Try buying only as much groceries as you actually need. Try not to buy that really cute shirt when you know you already have a closet full of shirts that you never wear. Take the things that you don’t use and give them to the people in your community who need them. Take the money that you save and give it to a charity. You will be so much happier and feel more fulfilled when you fill your life with acts of mercy than with material possessions. Our hearts are restless until they rest in God. If we all do our small part, we can eradicate world hunger and poverty without a huge effort. This will also bring about a greater peace around the world. It just takes a willingness to share.
Jesus, in a message given to Anne a Lay Apostle in Volume 1, says “Children, it is not I who have brought this darkness over the world. It is you, by your sin and failure to serve. There is enough food in the world. There should not be hunger. Medical care, also, can be spread around in a more effective manner. Humanitarian assistance to your poor and less advanced societies is an act of mercy and those who practice it are following My will, whether they know it or not. Truly, I want these acts of mercy from you. And I want you to stop blaming your God for your failures.”
And again in Volume 4, God the Father says “I want to share My view with you. From heaven, where I monitored the fall of every leaf, I saw a world that was unbalanced. Some of My children had every possible earthly possession. Because of the abundance of such possessions, My children in some parts of the world began to think in a distorted way. They thought then that they were entitled to such riches. When they could not secure the riches they admired, they began to think they were deprived. My children in the more affluent areas of the world experienced this occurrence and their unhappiness and dissatisfaction led to all manner of spiritual decay. My heavenly view shifts for a moment and I gaze upon other areas of the world, where during this same time, children lay dying of starvation and disease, simply for the want of basic necessities. These are the two extremes. They are equally disturbing to Me because I neither created one group to be gluttonous or the other to live and die in misery. Children, were you the father of this group of individuals, what would you do? You would, like Me, say, “Enough. We must restructure. The Father’s riches must be more equitably distributed.”
I think there has been so many disasters and earthquakes around the world lately because God is trying to tell us something. He is trying to show us His power, His might. He can truly move the mountains. He has command over the winds and the sea. He wants us to recognize that and give Him due reverence. We have gotten into the mindset that we don’t need God, that we are powerful enough on our own to control our lives and the world. He wants to beat us off of this fake pedestal and show us who is really in charge. That we are tiny and insignificant in the grand scheme of the universe. But, amazingly, He loves us more than any other creature in the universe. And He wants us to love our neighbor just as He loves us, to share with them so that nothing like the Haiti earthquake ever happens again.
Mari, Manman Tout Ti Moun, priye pou nou <3
as you may know, I’m going down to Haiti in a few weeks with 20 students from Franciscan. it’s been all I can think about (more than usual haha), and as I’ve been trying to prepare myself for the devastation I’m going to see down there a few things have kept coming up in my mind. why did the earthquake have to happen? Why did all those people have to suffer so much? Couldn’t God have stopped it from happening? Thank God our God is a loving God, for He has patiently helped me answer these questions and given me so many little revelations that my heart is bursting with gratitude.
Evil does not come from God. It can’t. it’s impossible. Yes, he can allow it to happen, but it does not originate from Him. It originates from our sin and from the harmful effects it has on our brothers and sisters around the world. it comes from the Evil One who has temporary “control” of this world, but who will not prevail. How can God allow evil things to happen though, you may ask, and still be an all-good God? Well, He promises us that where sin abounds, grace abounds all the more. He has the power to take an evil situation and turn it into an opportunity for growth, healing, and love. Being all-good doesn’t necessarily equate to no suffering..it means that God knows what’s best for us and will only do that. Remember He is all-knowing as well. It is like a parent trying to teach a kid to ride a bike. The kid is going to fall a few times and may get hurt, but the parent knows in His wise mind that if he holds on to the bike the whole time and never lets go then his kid will never learn to ride. God is like the wise parent. He knows that through suffering we will stretch our spiritual muscles, so to speak, and will gain eternal life by our faith in times of darkness. So our suffering is not a justification for saying that God does not exist or that he is not all-good, because in the long run He is doing us a favor by helping us to gain eternal life.
How, then, can God also be all-powerful if He doesn’t step in and intervene when He has the power to do so? This is because He respects His creation. He made us with free-will, in our rational minds, and in this way we are in His image and likeness. It would be a contradiction for Him to make us in this way and then not respect it by completely controlling our world, and God cannot contradict Himself (thank you, metaphysics class!) therefore, as much as it pains Him to see, He allows us to live with the consequences of our free actions and decisions. If God just completely controlled our minds so that we acted and loved as He wants us to, then we would be robots and wouldn’t choose freely to love Him. What would you rather have, a spouse or child who was programmed to love you and didn’t think twice about it, or someone who freely chose you over all the other people in the world out of his own free will? I know I would take the latter. He is calling us to “accept hardship and suffering and to not blame God. To tell ourselves that hardship and suffering is an opportunity to give loyalty and faith to God the Father.”
How different would the earthquake in Haiti have been if we had all shared our wealth with everyone? If instead of crappy cement and huts the Haitians were living in reinforced houses mean to withstand earthquakes? If instead of spending every waking moment concentrating on trying to stay alive and feed your children, people had the time and money to try and build up their government? Things would have been a lot different. There would not have been a catastrophic loss of life. Well, you may ask, what does this have to do with me? Doesn’t God decide who’s poor and who’s rich? No. God has provided enough resources on this earth to feed, clothe, and house every person on earth. It is us humans, with our free will, who decide to keep more than we need and create a disproportion of goods. And what if the person made by God to prevent this or lessen its impact was aborted as a baby or did not hear God’s call to serve because he/she was too busy being distracted with the things of this world? God does not cause evil. It is our own doing.
It makes me sick to my stomach when I see humungous houses the size of a small hotel built for only 2 or 3 people, knowing that there’s a dozen people somewhere else in the world trying to cram into a hut or shack to keep out of the rain or cold. Or all of the millions of homeless people in the world without a bed to sleep in. It makes me sick thinking of all the food that restaurants throw out every night when somewhere else in the world children are dying from starvation. It makes me sick to see stores full of fancy clothes for people to buy to cram into their bulging closet, when there are people around the world who have only one outfit to wear until it falls apart. I am guilty of all of these things. I am not perfect. But I am trying my best to be aware of this gross gluttony that we have in the more developed nations and try to reduce my share in it. Instead of living like this, try downsizing your home. Try buying only as much groceries as you actually need. Try not to buy that really cute shirt when you know you already have a closet full of shirts that you never wear. Take the things that you don’t use and give them to the people in your community who need them. Take the money that you save and give it to a charity. You will be so much happier and feel more fulfilled when you fill your life with acts of mercy than with material possessions. Our hearts are restless until they rest in God. If we all do our small part, we can eradicate world hunger and poverty without a huge effort. This will also bring about a greater peace around the world. It just takes a willingness to share.
Jesus, in a message given to Anne a Lay Apostle in Volume 1, says “Children, it is not I who have brought this darkness over the world. It is you, by your sin and failure to serve. There is enough food in the world. There should not be hunger. Medical care, also, can be spread around in a more effective manner. Humanitarian assistance to your poor and less advanced societies is an act of mercy and those who practice it are following My will, whether they know it or not. Truly, I want these acts of mercy from you. And I want you to stop blaming your God for your failures.”
And again in Volume 4, God the Father says “I want to share My view with you. From heaven, where I monitored the fall of every leaf, I saw a world that was unbalanced. Some of My children had every possible earthly possession. Because of the abundance of such possessions, My children in some parts of the world began to think in a distorted way. They thought then that they were entitled to such riches. When they could not secure the riches they admired, they began to think they were deprived. My children in the more affluent areas of the world experienced this occurrence and their unhappiness and dissatisfaction led to all manner of spiritual decay. My heavenly view shifts for a moment and I gaze upon other areas of the world, where during this same time, children lay dying of starvation and disease, simply for the want of basic necessities. These are the two extremes. They are equally disturbing to Me because I neither created one group to be gluttonous or the other to live and die in misery. Children, were you the father of this group of individuals, what would you do? You would, like Me, say, “Enough. We must restructure. The Father’s riches must be more equitably distributed.”
I think there has been so many disasters and earthquakes around the world lately because God is trying to tell us something. He is trying to show us His power, His might. He can truly move the mountains. He has command over the winds and the sea. He wants us to recognize that and give Him due reverence. We have gotten into the mindset that we don’t need God, that we are powerful enough on our own to control our lives and the world. He wants to beat us off of this fake pedestal and show us who is really in charge. That we are tiny and insignificant in the grand scheme of the universe. But, amazingly, He loves us more than any other creature in the universe. And He wants us to love our neighbor just as He loves us, to share with them so that nothing like the Haiti earthquake ever happens again.
Mari, Manman Tout Ti Moun, priye pou nou <3
I love my Pope!
Today, April 19, 2010, is the 5 year anniversary of Pope Benedict XVI becoming pope. With all of the scandal that is surrounding the Vatican, and the direct attacks on the Pope himself, I wanted to give everyone a perspective that you won’t find in the mainstream news. I am in no way an expert, so if I say something that you disagree with please let me know.
For those of you unaware about the particulars of the scandal, there has been another uncovering of a number of priests who sexually abused young children starting in the 1980s. Their cases were brought to the Vatican, to Pope Benedict XVI when he was still Cardinal Ratzinger and head of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith. The protocol in the 1980s was that a priest accused of pedophilia would be sent to a rehab facility and then reintroduced into a parish, for back then pedophilia still hadn’t been defined as a disease of the mind. It was thought that it was a behavior that you could be re-trained to abstain from. He was just doing his job. We can’t look at this situation through the eyes of 2010, because that’s taking it out of context and evaluating it unfairly. Not as much was known about pedophilia as it is now.
If you look at the documents, Cardinal Ratzinger/Pope Benedict XVI has actually done MORE to develop the Vatican’s protocol in dealing with pedophilia than anyone else in recent Church history. Many of the quotes attributed to the Pope have either been taken out of context or misinterpreted. The Pope does NOT support pedophilia. He is NOT a sex abuser himself.
What happened to these poor children is horrible and should not be tolerated. They need to be loved and prayed for and healed. But please don’t associate the whole Church with a minority of priests throughout the world with this problem. You hear only about them in the media, but in fact there is a much greater number of faithful priests throughout the world who would never do anything to harm their parishioners. They are in your towns and cities, humbly carrying out their mission to bring Christ to people every day. They are silent warriors.
Another idea one can be easily tempted to believe is that since some priests are guilty of this crime, then the entire Church itself is hypocritical and should not be believed or trusted. That it is a man-made institution separate from the faith itself. This is the farthest thing from the truth, and we need to realize that. Priests are called to a higher standard of holiness than the general population, this is true, but they are still men who can fall into sin. They are not infallible. This is why we need to pray for them all the more. Only the Pope is infallible, and even so it is only in matters of faith and morals. Pope Benedict XVI, when he was Cardinal Ratzinger, was not under this cloak of infallibility and therefore, if he did have any underlying intentions of reducing the media impact as much as possible, it does not mean that he erred as pope. He wasn’t pope then. No matter his past, we should have confidence that he has repented for any of his sins and that it has no impact on his current ability to rule over the Church as Pope.
The Catholic Church was instituted by Jesus Christ and given to the Apostles at the Last Supper. The apostle Peter was the first Pope, and every pope since then follows in his succession. The Holy Spirit was sent to the earth to guide the Church and its members and to keep it from falling into error. We, the people of the world, are the Body of Christ and make up the Church. WE are the Church..it is a living and breathing entity. It is not some remote institution in Rome made up of buildings. It is made up of human souls in the image and likeness of God! Therefore, it is impossible to separate the Catholic faith and the Church as two separate things. The priests are our brothers and sister in the Body of Christ, and we need to pray for them, but just because they have failed doesn’t mean the entire Church needs to fail. It has survived for over 2,000 years, and Jesus promised that the gates of Hell would never prevail over it. It has been tested severely over the course of history, as we are witnessing now, but it has always pulled through and won out in the end. We are on the winning team, no matter how grim our chances look.
Catholics (and anyone else who wants to!), we need to pray for our Pope and priests. We need to be a support system for each other. I do not think it’s a coincidence that priests, and especially the Pope, are being sharply criticized during the Year of the Priests. This is a direct spiritual attack from the Evil One. Satan always chooses the most pure and beautiful things to defile and corrupt: this is why womanhood, motherhood, family life, chastity, prayer, religious life, and the priesthood have become so disfigured and misunderstood in our world. Do not let him win. Defend the Pope and our priests, and pray and fast for them constantly. Ask for Mary our loving Mother’s intercession. Say the rosary, it is the most powerful weapon against Satan. It is up to us to stand up to our culture of skepticism and disbelief and reintroduce the pure love of God once again into our lives.
For those of you unaware about the particulars of the scandal, there has been another uncovering of a number of priests who sexually abused young children starting in the 1980s. Their cases were brought to the Vatican, to Pope Benedict XVI when he was still Cardinal Ratzinger and head of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith. The protocol in the 1980s was that a priest accused of pedophilia would be sent to a rehab facility and then reintroduced into a parish, for back then pedophilia still hadn’t been defined as a disease of the mind. It was thought that it was a behavior that you could be re-trained to abstain from. He was just doing his job. We can’t look at this situation through the eyes of 2010, because that’s taking it out of context and evaluating it unfairly. Not as much was known about pedophilia as it is now.
If you look at the documents, Cardinal Ratzinger/Pope Benedict XVI has actually done MORE to develop the Vatican’s protocol in dealing with pedophilia than anyone else in recent Church history. Many of the quotes attributed to the Pope have either been taken out of context or misinterpreted. The Pope does NOT support pedophilia. He is NOT a sex abuser himself.
What happened to these poor children is horrible and should not be tolerated. They need to be loved and prayed for and healed. But please don’t associate the whole Church with a minority of priests throughout the world with this problem. You hear only about them in the media, but in fact there is a much greater number of faithful priests throughout the world who would never do anything to harm their parishioners. They are in your towns and cities, humbly carrying out their mission to bring Christ to people every day. They are silent warriors.
Another idea one can be easily tempted to believe is that since some priests are guilty of this crime, then the entire Church itself is hypocritical and should not be believed or trusted. That it is a man-made institution separate from the faith itself. This is the farthest thing from the truth, and we need to realize that. Priests are called to a higher standard of holiness than the general population, this is true, but they are still men who can fall into sin. They are not infallible. This is why we need to pray for them all the more. Only the Pope is infallible, and even so it is only in matters of faith and morals. Pope Benedict XVI, when he was Cardinal Ratzinger, was not under this cloak of infallibility and therefore, if he did have any underlying intentions of reducing the media impact as much as possible, it does not mean that he erred as pope. He wasn’t pope then. No matter his past, we should have confidence that he has repented for any of his sins and that it has no impact on his current ability to rule over the Church as Pope.
The Catholic Church was instituted by Jesus Christ and given to the Apostles at the Last Supper. The apostle Peter was the first Pope, and every pope since then follows in his succession. The Holy Spirit was sent to the earth to guide the Church and its members and to keep it from falling into error. We, the people of the world, are the Body of Christ and make up the Church. WE are the Church..it is a living and breathing entity. It is not some remote institution in Rome made up of buildings. It is made up of human souls in the image and likeness of God! Therefore, it is impossible to separate the Catholic faith and the Church as two separate things. The priests are our brothers and sister in the Body of Christ, and we need to pray for them, but just because they have failed doesn’t mean the entire Church needs to fail. It has survived for over 2,000 years, and Jesus promised that the gates of Hell would never prevail over it. It has been tested severely over the course of history, as we are witnessing now, but it has always pulled through and won out in the end. We are on the winning team, no matter how grim our chances look.
Catholics (and anyone else who wants to!), we need to pray for our Pope and priests. We need to be a support system for each other. I do not think it’s a coincidence that priests, and especially the Pope, are being sharply criticized during the Year of the Priests. This is a direct spiritual attack from the Evil One. Satan always chooses the most pure and beautiful things to defile and corrupt: this is why womanhood, motherhood, family life, chastity, prayer, religious life, and the priesthood have become so disfigured and misunderstood in our world. Do not let him win. Defend the Pope and our priests, and pray and fast for them constantly. Ask for Mary our loving Mother’s intercession. Say the rosary, it is the most powerful weapon against Satan. It is up to us to stand up to our culture of skepticism and disbelief and reintroduce the pure love of God once again into our lives.
Heaven Speaks volumes and booklets online for FREE!
The Heaven Speaks Booklets are available online for FREE at http://www.directionforourtimes.com/onlinelibrary.html
These booklets contain messages from Jesus, Mary, and many saints in order to help people who are struggling with different things. They give Heaven's perspective on the many trials we go through in life and offer guidance, help, and understanding. Many of the saints, and Jesus Himself, have gone through the same sufferings and offer advice as to how they got through them! They do not seek to condemn or judge, but to offer love, peace, and healing. The topics include:
These booklets contain messages from Jesus, Mary, and many saints in order to help people who are struggling with different things. They give Heaven's perspective on the many trials we go through in life and offer guidance, help, and understanding. Many of the saints, and Jesus Himself, have gone through the same sufferings and offer advice as to how they got through them! They do not seek to condemn or judge, but to offer love, peace, and healing. The topics include:
Heaven Speaks about Abortion
Heaven Speaks about Addictions
Heaven Speaks to Victims of Clerical Abuse
Heaven Speaks to Consecrated Souls
Heaven Speaks about Depression
Heaven Speaks about Divorce
Heaven Speaks to Prisoners
Heaven Speaks to Soldiers
Heaven Speaks about Stress
Heaven Speaks to Young Adults
Heaven Speaks to Those Away from the Church
Heaven Speaks to Those Considering Suicide
Heaven Speaks to Those Who do not Know Jesus
Heaven Speaks to Those Who are Dying
Heaven Speaks to Those Who Experience Tragedy
Heaven Speaks to Those Who Fear Purgatory
Heaven Speaks to Parents Who Worry About Their Children's Salvation
Heaven Speaks to Those Who Have Rejected God
Heaven Speaks to Those Who Struggle to Forgive
Heaven Speaks to Those Who Suffer from Financial Need
The larger volumes of Anne's messages from Jesus can also be found online free at http://www.directionforourtimes.com/onlinevolumes.html
For those of you not familiar with Direction for Our Times and Anne's messages from Heaven, Anne is a lay Franciscan in Ireland. She recieves "interior locutions", in which she can hear Jesus speaking to her within her soul. She also recieves messages from the Virgin Mary and many saints. She is instructed to write them down and spread the messages throughout the world, and is under the complete obedience of her bishop. While they are not yet officially recognized by the Vatican, it is in the process and has been accepted by many priests, bishops, and lay faithful around the world. You don't have to believe it if you don't want to, but these messages have changed my life and I hope and pray that you will keep your hearts open as you read them!
Heaven Speaks about Addictions
Heaven Speaks to Victims of Clerical Abuse
Heaven Speaks to Consecrated Souls
Heaven Speaks about Depression
Heaven Speaks about Divorce
Heaven Speaks to Prisoners
Heaven Speaks to Soldiers
Heaven Speaks about Stress
Heaven Speaks to Young Adults
Heaven Speaks to Those Away from the Church
Heaven Speaks to Those Considering Suicide
Heaven Speaks to Those Who do not Know Jesus
Heaven Speaks to Those Who are Dying
Heaven Speaks to Those Who Experience Tragedy
Heaven Speaks to Those Who Fear Purgatory
Heaven Speaks to Parents Who Worry About Their Children's Salvation
Heaven Speaks to Those Who Have Rejected God
Heaven Speaks to Those Who Struggle to Forgive
Heaven Speaks to Those Who Suffer from Financial Need
The larger volumes of Anne's messages from Jesus can also be found online free at http://www.directionforourtimes.com/onlinevolumes.html
For those of you not familiar with Direction for Our Times and Anne's messages from Heaven, Anne is a lay Franciscan in Ireland. She recieves "interior locutions", in which she can hear Jesus speaking to her within her soul. She also recieves messages from the Virgin Mary and many saints. She is instructed to write them down and spread the messages throughout the world, and is under the complete obedience of her bishop. While they are not yet officially recognized by the Vatican, it is in the process and has been accepted by many priests, bishops, and lay faithful around the world. You don't have to believe it if you don't want to, but these messages have changed my life and I hope and pray that you will keep your hearts open as you read them!
a story about true love
2/16/2010
Ladies.. have you ever despaired that there is no true love in the world? Have you kept searching and searching, but never found it? Are you sad because you have been hurt by another who you thought loved you?
I want to tell you a story about a guy that I know, to let you know that true love isn't just for the movies. It exists..it's real.
This guy that I know.. he's pretty amazing.
he is everything that girls dream about.. kind, compassionate, loving, respectful, funny.
his eyes are peaceful, and his warm smile gives off joy and warmth.
he loves and respects women as the most beautiful creations on earth.
he is never judgmental, and will talk to anyone, making them feel accepted.
he has never broken a girl's heart, but instead guards and protects them.
he is never selfish or lazy.
when he looks at a girl, he doesn't notice weight, beauty, talent, or clothing
he is more interested in who a girl is as a person.
he believes in chivalry.
he will stand up for anyone who is being treated badly.
he is always there to listen, and gives the best advice.
he would never use a girl for his own pleasure or needs.
he doesn't hook up, or casually date, or have friends with benefits
he's in it for the real deal.
he will never give up on you.
this guy... he loves a girl.
and it's the most amazing true love story that you will ever hear.
see, this girl was beautiful, inside and out.
but she didn't believe she was beautiful,
because the world told her she wasn't.
she wondered if she ever would find a guy
who would treat her right and be her happy ending.
she was starting to give up hope.
she was tired of waiting.
and then she met the guy that i know.
he told her that she was beautiful,
and truly loved her for who she was.
he guarded her in every way possible
from the meanness and harshness of the world.
he helped her to be a better person-
he held her accountable for herself,
but always in love, never with judgment.
the hold the world had on her was very great
and there were times when she messed up.
but he was always waiting for her,
ready to hold her close in forgiveness.
his heart burned for her,
and he desired her love more than anything else.
he never gave up on her.
he never stopped fighting for her, longing for her
even when she turned away from him
his love for her was so powerful and true
that it changed the world
and could endure all things.
Wanna know who this guy is that I know? His name is Jesus Christ. He is real. And the girl in the story? She’s the Church. And you know who makes up the Church? Each and every single one of us. He loves us so much that He was willing to die for us in order to protect us, the Church. He never gave up on us, even in the face of public humiliation and death. He loves us all individually like I just described above. He died for each and every human being that will ever be created, even the ones who don’t know Him, who don’t believe in Him, who reject Him. He could not bear to see even one of his beautiful created beings suffer in the world without the hope and promise of eternal salvation.
Ladies, Jesus loves you no matter what you look like. No matter if you are popular or accepted. He will always be there, and desires your heart so much. He is standing right beside you, waiting eagerly for you to open your heart to Him. All he needs is this first glimpse of a desire for Him, and He will take care of the rest. You just need to give Him the chance. He loves you more perfectly and truly than any human being possibly could. He knows you better than you know yourself, because He created you. He knows every tear you cry and wants to be the shoulder you cry on. Turn to Him in your pain, in your suffering, and know that He understands. He understands because He experienced all that we experience when He was on earth. He wants you to know how beautiful and unrepeatable you are in His eyes, and wants you to feel His love. You are beautiful. You are unrepeatable.
We usually think of Good Friday as just another day off from school or work that gives us a long weekend. This Lent, think of it as the ultimate Valentine’s Day, a day for you to realize just how much you are loved by God, even if you’ve never talked to Him before. He loves you anyway, and always will. He loves you so much that He was willing to lay down His life in order to save you. Now isn’t that true love or what?
Ladies.. have you ever despaired that there is no true love in the world? Have you kept searching and searching, but never found it? Are you sad because you have been hurt by another who you thought loved you?
I want to tell you a story about a guy that I know, to let you know that true love isn't just for the movies. It exists..it's real.
This guy that I know.. he's pretty amazing.
he is everything that girls dream about.. kind, compassionate, loving, respectful, funny.
his eyes are peaceful, and his warm smile gives off joy and warmth.
he loves and respects women as the most beautiful creations on earth.
he is never judgmental, and will talk to anyone, making them feel accepted.
he has never broken a girl's heart, but instead guards and protects them.
he is never selfish or lazy.
when he looks at a girl, he doesn't notice weight, beauty, talent, or clothing
he is more interested in who a girl is as a person.
he believes in chivalry.
he will stand up for anyone who is being treated badly.
he is always there to listen, and gives the best advice.
he would never use a girl for his own pleasure or needs.
he doesn't hook up, or casually date, or have friends with benefits
he's in it for the real deal.
he will never give up on you.
this guy... he loves a girl.
and it's the most amazing true love story that you will ever hear.
see, this girl was beautiful, inside and out.
but she didn't believe she was beautiful,
because the world told her she wasn't.
she wondered if she ever would find a guy
who would treat her right and be her happy ending.
she was starting to give up hope.
she was tired of waiting.
and then she met the guy that i know.
he told her that she was beautiful,
and truly loved her for who she was.
he guarded her in every way possible
from the meanness and harshness of the world.
he helped her to be a better person-
he held her accountable for herself,
but always in love, never with judgment.
the hold the world had on her was very great
and there were times when she messed up.
but he was always waiting for her,
ready to hold her close in forgiveness.
his heart burned for her,
and he desired her love more than anything else.
he never gave up on her.
he never stopped fighting for her, longing for her
even when she turned away from him
his love for her was so powerful and true
that it changed the world
and could endure all things.
Wanna know who this guy is that I know? His name is Jesus Christ. He is real. And the girl in the story? She’s the Church. And you know who makes up the Church? Each and every single one of us. He loves us so much that He was willing to die for us in order to protect us, the Church. He never gave up on us, even in the face of public humiliation and death. He loves us all individually like I just described above. He died for each and every human being that will ever be created, even the ones who don’t know Him, who don’t believe in Him, who reject Him. He could not bear to see even one of his beautiful created beings suffer in the world without the hope and promise of eternal salvation.
Ladies, Jesus loves you no matter what you look like. No matter if you are popular or accepted. He will always be there, and desires your heart so much. He is standing right beside you, waiting eagerly for you to open your heart to Him. All he needs is this first glimpse of a desire for Him, and He will take care of the rest. You just need to give Him the chance. He loves you more perfectly and truly than any human being possibly could. He knows you better than you know yourself, because He created you. He knows every tear you cry and wants to be the shoulder you cry on. Turn to Him in your pain, in your suffering, and know that He understands. He understands because He experienced all that we experience when He was on earth. He wants you to know how beautiful and unrepeatable you are in His eyes, and wants you to feel His love. You are beautiful. You are unrepeatable.
We usually think of Good Friday as just another day off from school or work that gives us a long weekend. This Lent, think of it as the ultimate Valentine’s Day, a day for you to realize just how much you are loved by God, even if you’ve never talked to Him before. He loves you anyway, and always will. He loves you so much that He was willing to lay down His life in order to save you. Now isn’t that true love or what?
CONTENTS of the uterus?!
8/26/2009
sooo I was looking through the most recent issue of Newsweek the other night (the baseball game was going pretty slow so I was bored...) and there was a section all about the proposed Obama healthcare plan. I was intrigued and figured there might be something about abortion in there, and low and behold there was a huge article titled "The Abortion Evangelist".
I knew I should have stopped reading right there because this was going to make me upset, but I was curious. As predicted, I got more and more upset as I continued to read the article. It chronicled the life of this abortion doctor, and how he is portrayed as a hero amongst pro-choicers because he continues to provide late-term abortions up to 24 weeks where the baby has up to a 50% chance of survival outside of the womb. at 22 weeks, it is under 10%. but what about that 10-50% that survive? why give your baby a 0% chance to survive when he or she can have at least a slight chance? to me, that's not being pro-choice because you're not giving the baby the option to survive when he/she has a chance. every human should have the right to at least have a choice to survive, and that baby has no choice, not even a fighting chance. He is quoted as saying he is "proud of what he does"- proud to deny a basic human right to dozens of babies a day?
one story really stood out to me. he talks about a woman in her third trimester who got pregnant as a result of rape, and how she was suicidal because every time she felt the baby kick she thought back to the rape. he decided to perform her abortion, because "if a woman is going to kill herself, then I think you have to look at it for her health." this is a tough case, but what I don't understand is why he would decide to cause that woman even more psychological and emotional harm by performing the abortion. instead, if he cared so much for this woman's health, why didn't he put her into therapy and try to help her solve the root of the problem? while having an abortion might have helped her short-term in dealing with the rape, she most likely still felt depressed and violated after the abortion. in fact, she might have felt even more depressed after the abortion because she thought it would solve all of her problems, and when it didn't she could have felt even more despair. the majority of evidence proves that women incur psychological trauma from having an abortion, even though many times they don't feel it until later in life. why cause this woman even more trauma, instead of lovingly help her come to terms with what happened to her? in my mind, that would be looking out for her "health" more than having an abortion would.
the thing that upset me the most, however, was when the article described how "regular", or first-trimester abortions, are performed: "In a suction D&C procedure, the cervix is dilated with rod-shaped instruments and the contents of the uterus removed with a tube connected to a suction device.".... contents of the uterus?!?! so now the word fetus isn't dehumanized enough, we have to use contents. i'm sorry, but a human life, whether or not you believe in God, should be worth more than the term "contents".
let's re-phrase this, shall we? how does it sound now: "...and the baby in the uterus is ripped apart and sucked through a tube piece by piece." it doesn't have the nice sound to it anymore huh? but unfortunately it's the reality. abortionists throw out sentences like the previous one to make it seem less traumatic and have us rest easy. and we as a society eat it up like candy.
however, the way to stop abortion (especially late term ones) is not by killing abortionists like the doctor's fellow abortionist friend. if you're against killing babies, then you're sure being hypocritical by killing the person who kills the babies. instead, we need to work together and educate through reasoning and understanding or else nothing is going to change.
sooo I was looking through the most recent issue of Newsweek the other night (the baseball game was going pretty slow so I was bored...) and there was a section all about the proposed Obama healthcare plan. I was intrigued and figured there might be something about abortion in there, and low and behold there was a huge article titled "The Abortion Evangelist".
I knew I should have stopped reading right there because this was going to make me upset, but I was curious. As predicted, I got more and more upset as I continued to read the article. It chronicled the life of this abortion doctor, and how he is portrayed as a hero amongst pro-choicers because he continues to provide late-term abortions up to 24 weeks where the baby has up to a 50% chance of survival outside of the womb. at 22 weeks, it is under 10%. but what about that 10-50% that survive? why give your baby a 0% chance to survive when he or she can have at least a slight chance? to me, that's not being pro-choice because you're not giving the baby the option to survive when he/she has a chance. every human should have the right to at least have a choice to survive, and that baby has no choice, not even a fighting chance. He is quoted as saying he is "proud of what he does"- proud to deny a basic human right to dozens of babies a day?
one story really stood out to me. he talks about a woman in her third trimester who got pregnant as a result of rape, and how she was suicidal because every time she felt the baby kick she thought back to the rape. he decided to perform her abortion, because "if a woman is going to kill herself, then I think you have to look at it for her health." this is a tough case, but what I don't understand is why he would decide to cause that woman even more psychological and emotional harm by performing the abortion. instead, if he cared so much for this woman's health, why didn't he put her into therapy and try to help her solve the root of the problem? while having an abortion might have helped her short-term in dealing with the rape, she most likely still felt depressed and violated after the abortion. in fact, she might have felt even more depressed after the abortion because she thought it would solve all of her problems, and when it didn't she could have felt even more despair. the majority of evidence proves that women incur psychological trauma from having an abortion, even though many times they don't feel it until later in life. why cause this woman even more trauma, instead of lovingly help her come to terms with what happened to her? in my mind, that would be looking out for her "health" more than having an abortion would.
the thing that upset me the most, however, was when the article described how "regular", or first-trimester abortions, are performed: "In a suction D&C procedure, the cervix is dilated with rod-shaped instruments and the contents of the uterus removed with a tube connected to a suction device.".... contents of the uterus?!?! so now the word fetus isn't dehumanized enough, we have to use contents. i'm sorry, but a human life, whether or not you believe in God, should be worth more than the term "contents".
let's re-phrase this, shall we? how does it sound now: "...and the baby in the uterus is ripped apart and sucked through a tube piece by piece." it doesn't have the nice sound to it anymore huh? but unfortunately it's the reality. abortionists throw out sentences like the previous one to make it seem less traumatic and have us rest easy. and we as a society eat it up like candy.
however, the way to stop abortion (especially late term ones) is not by killing abortionists like the doctor's fellow abortionist friend. if you're against killing babies, then you're sure being hypocritical by killing the person who kills the babies. instead, we need to work together and educate through reasoning and understanding or else nothing is going to change.
My First Haitian Experience
Here's a note that I wrote a year ago when I got back from Haiti the first time:
6/4/2009
It is near impossible to put into words everything that I felt and experienced in Haiti, but I'm going to try my hardest. Our trip started off in a frustrating way, boarding and unboarding the plane 3 times before having the pilot tell us that the flight was rescheduled for the next morning due to the curfew in Haiti. By that time I had gotten to know a lot of Haitians on the plane, could recite the safety video in English, Creole, and French, and could walk to my seat on the plane with my eyes closed.
We finally left for Haiti on Saturday morning, and Louis met us at the airport. Flying into Port-Au-Prince it appears that there are huge flat sheets of tin all over the city, which is in fact the roofs of the houses in the slums. The poverty and filth is staggering, and words cannot describe the helplessness and pity I felt for those people. We went to Mother Teresa's hospital while we were still in the city, which is a small building for babies and young children. In each room there are about 25 cribs, and the workers spend their entire day keeping everyone changed and fed. The children lie in their cribs all day with minimal human contact and stare out of their big lonely brown eyes. I was afraid I was going to break some of them when I picked them up because they are so skinny. I went up to this one little girl who immediately put her arms up for me to pick her up. I held her for about 20 minutes and then went to put her down so I could hold other children as well. She started wailing and holding her arms up to me, and walking away from her was one of the hardest and most heart-wrenching things I have ever had to do in my life. While holding the children, I felt such a strong maternal instict and knew that Mary was working through me and holding the children herself, letting them know that they were loved and not alone.
We then preceded to drive 4 hours to the village. As most of you know, I get extremely carsick and the Haitian way of driving through the city (no offense Louis) sent me over the edge. I was about to throw up out the window onto the feet of the vendors on the sidewalk when Sean thrust the bag previously holding Mother Teresa's sweater into my face just in time. He made fun of me for the rest of the trip for almost showing the Haitians what I really thought of their country...
I rode in the front of the van the rest of the way, and fell asleep thanks to Drammamene. I awoke to the bouncing and jerking of the car, after we got off of the paved road and started traveling on the dirt roads that make up most of Haiti. There are ruts from the rains and we had to cross several rivers...it was even more fun when I rode on the back of a pickup on the way back to the city! If you love off-roading, I strongly suggest you go to Haiti :)
We finally got to the village and Brother DeLord (not to my knowledge) played out a fake Voodoo "welcoming ceremony"...I should have known the chicken blood wasn't real if it was in a soda bottle ;P The orphanage is almost completed and is a miracle. I can't wait to see children from the city brought there and having 24/7 love and support.
Sam, Kristen, Johnna, Greg, and Chase were already down there and they have been doing such an amazing job! We helped to fix a road to the outhouse that the Haitians couldn't get to when it rained (kind of a problem) and I accompanied Kristen on her visit to the local clinic. There is such a dire need for simple medical care in Haiti, and it really awakened something within me. I would love to work at the clinic that Sean is planning on building when it's open.
On Sunday we went to a service led by Brother that lasted for hours! The villagers are lucky if they recieve the Eucharist once a year because there are no priests in the immediate area. It made me appreciate it so much more, and it was so humbling to see how excited the Haitians are about their faith even if they are deprived of one of its main sacraments. They sing almost everything during the mass, and it was such a beautiful service.
One of my most favorite parts about the trip was the children. As I mentioned above, I felt such a strong materal force within me come alive while I was there. Having a child fall asleep in my arms, either at church or at the hospital or the orphanage, was the best feeling in the world. I knew that at that moment they felt safe and loved, and the way that they desperately clung to me broke my heart and elated me at the same time. The love that they showed me was just as powerful as the love that I showed them, and even though we had a language barrier I felt so connected to them because the language of love is universal.
And yes, I did bathe in a river! And believe it or not it was the best shower that I have ever had. The first time we went it was dark and we swam in the intensely bright moonlight, which felt so beautiful and natural. The part we swam in was deep enough that I couldn't touch and some of us (not me) did cannonballs off of a cliff. I would totally continue my newly acquired bathing habits in the States if I didn't think that people would think I was crazy...
Haiti will forever be in my heart, and I will never forget my Haitian brothers and sisters who I met while I was there. I can't wait to go back..in fact I never wanted to leave in the first place! Thank you so much for everyone's love and support, and please continue to pray for this awesome mission :)
6/4/2009
It is near impossible to put into words everything that I felt and experienced in Haiti, but I'm going to try my hardest. Our trip started off in a frustrating way, boarding and unboarding the plane 3 times before having the pilot tell us that the flight was rescheduled for the next morning due to the curfew in Haiti. By that time I had gotten to know a lot of Haitians on the plane, could recite the safety video in English, Creole, and French, and could walk to my seat on the plane with my eyes closed.
We finally left for Haiti on Saturday morning, and Louis met us at the airport. Flying into Port-Au-Prince it appears that there are huge flat sheets of tin all over the city, which is in fact the roofs of the houses in the slums. The poverty and filth is staggering, and words cannot describe the helplessness and pity I felt for those people. We went to Mother Teresa's hospital while we were still in the city, which is a small building for babies and young children. In each room there are about 25 cribs, and the workers spend their entire day keeping everyone changed and fed. The children lie in their cribs all day with minimal human contact and stare out of their big lonely brown eyes. I was afraid I was going to break some of them when I picked them up because they are so skinny. I went up to this one little girl who immediately put her arms up for me to pick her up. I held her for about 20 minutes and then went to put her down so I could hold other children as well. She started wailing and holding her arms up to me, and walking away from her was one of the hardest and most heart-wrenching things I have ever had to do in my life. While holding the children, I felt such a strong maternal instict and knew that Mary was working through me and holding the children herself, letting them know that they were loved and not alone.
We then preceded to drive 4 hours to the village. As most of you know, I get extremely carsick and the Haitian way of driving through the city (no offense Louis) sent me over the edge. I was about to throw up out the window onto the feet of the vendors on the sidewalk when Sean thrust the bag previously holding Mother Teresa's sweater into my face just in time. He made fun of me for the rest of the trip for almost showing the Haitians what I really thought of their country...
I rode in the front of the van the rest of the way, and fell asleep thanks to Drammamene. I awoke to the bouncing and jerking of the car, after we got off of the paved road and started traveling on the dirt roads that make up most of Haiti. There are ruts from the rains and we had to cross several rivers...it was even more fun when I rode on the back of a pickup on the way back to the city! If you love off-roading, I strongly suggest you go to Haiti :)
We finally got to the village and Brother DeLord (not to my knowledge) played out a fake Voodoo "welcoming ceremony"...I should have known the chicken blood wasn't real if it was in a soda bottle ;P The orphanage is almost completed and is a miracle. I can't wait to see children from the city brought there and having 24/7 love and support.
Sam, Kristen, Johnna, Greg, and Chase were already down there and they have been doing such an amazing job! We helped to fix a road to the outhouse that the Haitians couldn't get to when it rained (kind of a problem) and I accompanied Kristen on her visit to the local clinic. There is such a dire need for simple medical care in Haiti, and it really awakened something within me. I would love to work at the clinic that Sean is planning on building when it's open.
On Sunday we went to a service led by Brother that lasted for hours! The villagers are lucky if they recieve the Eucharist once a year because there are no priests in the immediate area. It made me appreciate it so much more, and it was so humbling to see how excited the Haitians are about their faith even if they are deprived of one of its main sacraments. They sing almost everything during the mass, and it was such a beautiful service.
One of my most favorite parts about the trip was the children. As I mentioned above, I felt such a strong materal force within me come alive while I was there. Having a child fall asleep in my arms, either at church or at the hospital or the orphanage, was the best feeling in the world. I knew that at that moment they felt safe and loved, and the way that they desperately clung to me broke my heart and elated me at the same time. The love that they showed me was just as powerful as the love that I showed them, and even though we had a language barrier I felt so connected to them because the language of love is universal.
And yes, I did bathe in a river! And believe it or not it was the best shower that I have ever had. The first time we went it was dark and we swam in the intensely bright moonlight, which felt so beautiful and natural. The part we swam in was deep enough that I couldn't touch and some of us (not me) did cannonballs off of a cliff. I would totally continue my newly acquired bathing habits in the States if I didn't think that people would think I was crazy...
Haiti will forever be in my heart, and I will never forget my Haitian brothers and sisters who I met while I was there. I can't wait to go back..in fact I never wanted to leave in the first place! Thank you so much for everyone's love and support, and please continue to pray for this awesome mission :)
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